Power of Legacy
This script was taken from a short film I put together for Greenbelt Festival. They are reflections on the loss of my mother to Covid in January 2021.
All we knew was darkness before we entered this world
And we return to darkness when the soil covers us in the grave
If all we saw was darkness, when the light dawns it would blind us.
But we await the light – knowing that it won’t stay dark forever.
Allah blessed us with an inbuilt mechanism to ‘cope’
To ‘deal effectively with something difficult’
Inamal Usri Yusra
After hardship comes ease.
When calamity strikes
And adversities surround us.
We remind each other of this verse
We watched as our mother slipped away in a covid hospital ward.
My sister yells via an ipad screen ‘shes gone’
‘La – illaha illallah Muhammadur rasoolullah.
This is the terrifying ride that you cannot say no to and walk away.
The Playground
The bell rings. Kids running come to a standstill
I walk in holding my mothers hand and run to join others.
The teacher grabs me by the arm shakes me violently asking why I am still running after the bell has gone.
My mum -an immigrant from Bangladesh with broken English- screams back you don’t have to shake him like he’s a dog…
Silence from the teacher.
I was 5 years old.
Witnessing this strength, this experience stayed with me for my entire life.
Although I’ve run from the questions of who I am as a son of an immigrant – and a muslim…
Sooner or later – it will catch up with you and look you right in the face to ask you questions you cannot escape.
This is the biggest loss in my life.
But I embrace the strength I’ve inherited from the spirit of my mother.
Death
It comes for us all.
Yet Death is the biggest taboo in life.
When it does happen.
We crumble. Our minds cannot grasp it
Despite knowing its inescapable.
We are never ready for it.
Continuing the legacy of my mother – it’s a duty.
The son of migrants who travelled great distance to seek a new life
Leaving loved ones thousands of miles away as they established their homes and families elsewhere
How can I not passionately BUILD a place that our parents struggled so hard to establish as home?
Those efforts would be in vain if I did not continue that determination and perseverance
Fish N Chips
My mother ran a fish n chop shop in Andernton Road Sparkbrook.
Prince Charles came to our neighbourhood back then and it was the busiest day for our chip shop ever.
7 pence for a bag of chips. We made a whole £18 that day.
Immigrants sponging off the system – They say.
An Asian woman running a chip shop in the 70s.
You find me an Asian woman doing that today in 2021.
I know nothing but strength.
This is why the biggest calamity of my life. The loss of my beloved mother.
I have to continue to embody the strength of my mother
We continue to build for the next generations.
We persevere. We fight. We Win.
I say to my kids. Don’t ever say you cant. We Can. We will. We Must.
In the name of those who struggled before us.
Covid
There is an invisible veil that falls across vast swathes of society. A veil that separates us in an increasingly polarised society.
We had a mirror shone in front of us.
We look at ourselves.
We have questioned the value of things that we took granted
We realised how death was right under our noses and on our doorsteps. It was coming for us.
The glitch moment – this moment that took us by the shoulders perhaps was necessary.
It was necessary – for us to wake us up.
We realise how we are not immortal. We wear out. We age. We decay.
We should Embrace the idea that everything comes to an end
Except for the legacy we leave behind.